neon lit doomsdays

doe-eyed dreamer


by the grey surroundings

I thought this was the place.

I thought I liked feeling small.

I thought the times would change,

and maybe the grey would warm up to me.

but the city is a stone cold fox

does it take one to know one?

I should hope not.

I see myself as more of a hybrid,

like Sabbath.

A husky and golden-doodle mix

striking yet sweet-

all at the same time.

God, I love that dog.

I felt a retreat to the sunshine was necessary.

before my reflection in the building windows,

became my whole self.

these were the thoughts I was having before I retreated.

last winter had kicked my ass

I just didn’t have enough love for the torture

left in me to fight the

bitter cold everyday.

I fight enough already,

just like everybody else.

I watched mile markers pass

I watched the clock

I watched state lines pass

and I watched the scenery like a

visual treadmill.

I now wake up with the sun bathing my face

green replaces the grey

light replaces dark

sunsets replace sunrises

the ones that used to

mock me for staying awake

long enough to greet them.

maybe now I will learn to be

better at bettering myself.

maybe now is the time.

maybe this is the place.

I will continue to court the sunshine

until I decide if she is the one I will marry.