neon lit doomsdays
doe-eyed dreamer
blindsided
by the grey surroundings
I thought this was the place.
I thought I liked feeling small.
I thought the times would change,
and maybe the grey would warm up to me.
but the city is a stone cold fox
does it take one to know one?
I should hope not.
I see myself as more of a hybrid,
like Sabbath.
A husky and golden-doodle mix
striking yet sweet-
all at the same time.
God, I love that dog.
I felt a retreat to the sunshine was necessary.
before my reflection in the building windows,
became my whole self.
these were the thoughts I was having before I retreated.
last winter had kicked my ass
I just didn’t have enough love for the torture
left in me to fight the
bitter cold everyday.
I fight enough already,
just like everybody else.
I watched mile markers pass
I watched the clock
I watched state lines pass
and I watched the scenery like a
visual treadmill.
I now wake up with the sun bathing my face
green replaces the grey
light replaces dark
sunsets replace sunrises
the ones that used to
mock me for staying awake
long enough to greet them.
maybe now I will learn to be
better at bettering myself.
maybe now is the time.
maybe this is the place.
I will continue to court the sunshine
until I decide if she is the one I will marry.
